A letter to the first man I've ever loved.

To The First Man I’ve Ever Loved
                                        
I miss the trips we used to have. I miss the times we used to walk. Holding my hand each time and how little it looked, fragile even. Always protecting. I felt invulnerable.
Our first kite, you were at the other end pulling the string, trying to run as fast as you could to make it fly. Each time you ran it had always crashed land, a fail but full of promises.
I seldom misbehave in your presence except that time when I laughed at your warning. The “slipper” your definition of punishment how hilarious it looked trying to prevent myself from laughing again.
I’ve adored your bed from the cool bedcover to the soft foam and cushions.
You would always carry me to bed when you caught me sleeping in it being careful not to wake me up but I sometimes pretend to be asleep tucking me in and bode your goodnight.
Your first and last tutorial the anatomy of the gastrointestinal tract. You taught me as thou I knew the subject at hand but I didn’t. Watching you I thought it was a test of your tolerance.
You looked frustrated, only felt satisfied when I discussed the subject properly, I was 10 then.
When I felt hungry I’d usually open the refrigerator to take out some fast food I left only to find it missing. Realizing you were the culprit you would apologize for eating it and give me some money to buy us both some snacks when I get back from school.
My great defender, defying anyone who argues even my brother.
You saw the beauty I never saw in myself. You trusted me more than I trust myself. My confidant.
I grew up listening to Beatles, Kenny Rogers, Eraserheads as years passed you’ve learned to love the music I listen to and watched series inappropriate to your age like slam dunk skipping the news channels, how we used to laugh our heads off.
Accompanying me in a concert, it felt awkward and how my friends reacted to the whole scene.
It was unforgettable.
You weren’t concern with my grades or what I did in school. You always believed in my capabilities.
When you’re happy you would bribe me with cash for shopping to maintain my grades, a very astute tactic I must say.
As I grew older I was more outspoken. I would always ask for hugs and even beg you to be kissed on your cheek not missing a day of saying “I love you.”
How bold I grew up to be. Our bond has brought as nearer but as time came to a close I couldn’t hold on to it.
Until the end you tried to teach me. My first real cardio-pulmonary resuscitation.
I saw you in the crowd clapping your hands during my graduation even attending my oath saying how proud you were only to realize it was just a dream. Unfulfilled promises.
You were taken unexpectedly and my whole world shattered.
The earth revolves with or without you but reminiscing you make me onion-eyed each time. Things might have changed while you were away but you will always remain in our hearts.
People used to label me and yes I am my father’s daughter (a cursed label I used to think) a living reminder that a great man has once lived.
 I miss you more and more each day.
I love you Dad.


From Daddy’s girl

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